27th
You ever feel like you’re just going through the motions, trying to get everything done with the little time you have, and just get really jaded? At the same time, I have this overwhelming and irrational fear that something bad is going to happen. I realize this is completely absurd to even think, but it keeps coming up. I keep thinking something might happen to my father, and while I haven’t heard anything bad from my mom, I just can’t seem to shake the feeling.
My father and I don’t talk when I’m at school. He’s only ever called me three times when I’ve been up here in Boston, and two of those times were because he wanted me to do something I was completely unwilling to do. And while I know maybe I should be the one to break the silence, we just don’t have that kind of relationship. We’re usually fine, but I left home in late August in the midst of an argument we had, and even when I went home for the long weekend, we barely spoke. It’s not that I don’t care about him, we’re just two hardheaded individuals unwilling to apologize because we both think we’re right. But yet, I keep thinking how he’s getting much older—he’s 67—and he’s still working full time and working overtime and not exactly the healthiest of people. And it scares me. It scares me to death to think that something might happen to him while I’m over 200 miles away. And I’m not sure what to do about it.
